Just hours after being denied a seat in the U.S. Senate, former Illinois attorney general Roland W. Burris said that he was no longer interested in that position and would instead seek to be crowned Emperor of the Universe.

In a meeting with reporters outside the Capitol building, Mr. Burris...

Andy can't believe that shoe almost hit Rick Warren.

Andy is somehow not surprised that Bush texted the Libby pardon during the Inauguration.

Andy will miss Chrysler.

Andy liked "Marley & Me" just fine - but Best Picture???

Andy wants to know: who, exactly, were the 40 people who watched...

Just days after the news broke that former Tennessee GOP leader Chip Saltsman had released a song parody entitled "Barack the Magic Negro," the Republican National Committee issued what it called "an official apology to America's negroes."

In the statement, the RNC ripped Saltsman's song, calling it "tone-deaf, unacceptable, and...

The alleged Ponzi scheme of New York investment manager Bernie Madoff has claimed yet another victim, as al-Qaeda kingpin Osama bin Laden today revealed that he lost over $1 billion in the fraud.

While the roster of Madoff victims has included many prominent names from the world of entertainment and...

The recession in the U.S. has just racked up another casualty, the tradition of giving decent gifts for the holidays, with many Americans reporting that they have received the shittiest Christmas gifts in recent memory.

With fewer holiday dollars in their wallets, cash-strapped consumers are resorting to giving such unwanted...

Global markets swooned today in reaction to photos showing that President-elect Barack Obama had lost his shirt.

The pictures depicting a shirtless Mr. Obama wandering about on a deserted stretch of beach stoked fears that the U.S.'s financial woes were deeper than previously reported.

"We have had a steady drumbeat...

Caroline Kennedy would like to be considered Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2009 and has let the magazine's editor know of her interest in the honor, aides to Ms. Kennedy confirmed today.

While some observers considered Ms. Kennedy's bid to be premature, especially since 2009 has not officially...

In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.

The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of...

In a move that some industry insiders called a game-changer, NBC announced today that it would cancel all of its primetime programs and air a static image of its peacock logo every night between 8 and 10.

While some critics of the move questioned whether viewers would tune in to...

In what is being called one of the most daring escape attempts in the history of law enforcement, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich today offered the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama to the FBI agent who took him into Federal custody this morning.

According to U.S. Attorney Patrick...

The proposal by the CEOs of the Big Three automakers to work for $1 a year has gone over like a lead balloon with taxpayers, a new survey shows, with a clear majority believing that the car bosses do not deserve such a bloated salary.

The University of Minnesota/Opinion Research...

As President-elect Barack Obama continues to assemble his "team of rivals" by filling Cabinet positions with former political opponents, he has drawn the ire of one self-styled rival who feels he has been unfairly overlooked: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH).

Speaking to reporters in Washington today, a furious Mr. Kucinich said...

In a landmark deal that could provide much-needed cash to America's anemic economy, China agreed today to acquire the naming rights to the U.S. for a reported $1.4 trillion.

The deal, which is expected to be signed by President George W. Bush and Chinese president Hu Jintao sometime before Inauguration...

In order to celebrate Thanksgiving, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today issued what she called "my list of thankfulnesses":

The first thankfulness being that I'm thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off while it was flapping its wings trying...

Continuing in his quest to assemble a so-called "team of rivals," President-elect Barack Obama today announced that he would name Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston to key Cabinet positions.

The two actresses, who have been perennial tabloid fodder as a result of their longstanding feud over actor Brad Pitt, were...

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS's 60 Minutes on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox...

Confounding the conventional wisdom that he is a lame duck president with no agenda as his days in office dwindle, President George W. Bush is redoubling his efforts to mutilate the country before his term expires, aides confirmed today.

"President Bush has spent the first seven years and ten months...

Just minutes after "Morning Joe" host Joe Scarborough dropped an F-bomb live on the air, MSNBC announced that it was re-launching the show to capitalize on its star's salty vocabulary.

"Starting on Tuesday, MSNBC's morning show will be known as Fucking Joe," said MSNBC spokesperson Carol Foyler. "We want...

Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska has reached out to President-elect Obama's transition team to indicate her interest in being named "ambassador to the nation of Africa," the governor confirmed today.

Gov. Palin said that although she had planned to continue in her position in Juneau, she was willing to leave...

Just minutes after their party's longstanding losing tradition lay in tatters on the ground, millions of shell-shocked Democrats stared at their television screens in disbelief, asking themselves what went right.

For Democrats, who have become accustomed to their party blowing an election even when it seemed like a sure thing,...